5 Success Habits to Help You Master the Art of Letting Go
You probably recognize the feeling of being attached to an outcome. You decide that you must make a certain amount of money. Or you must have a certain number of people in your new program. Or you must have a certain level of sales. Or you must live in a certain neighborhood, and so on. These are examples of unhealthy attachment to outcomes. And it causes problems like stress, tension, sleeplessness, and tends to suck the joy out of the present moment.
However, setting goals is a major key to success. Where is that line between setting positive goals and becoming too attached to outcomes? The line is crossed when you have those feelings of “must” “should” “have to” and “need”. And these feelings get in the way of you truly enjoying the process of achieving your goals and experiencing your joy in the present moment. You can begin to shift by changing those feelings of neediness into thoughts of opportunity. Even using the words, “I get to…” instead of “I have to” creates an energetic shift.
Why is letting go important? Letting go creates freedom and peace which allows you to use your energy for inspired action instead of using your energy to entertain thoughts of fear and worry.
Letting go creates freedom and peace which allows you to use your energy for inspired actionClick to tweet
Here are 5 success habits for mastering the art of letting go.
Practice Non-Attachment. You can practice letting go by visualizing it. You can see yourself holding or squeezing tightly to a thing or idea and then see yourself releasing your grip and letting the thing or idea float into the sky. You are not saying goodbye to it, you are setting it free. Try it. Bring to your mind an outcome in your life that you deeply desire, then mentally, set it free. You can even say, “I set_______ free”. For example, an Olympic skier trains to do his or her absolute best, and decides to let go of obsessing about the medals. The most successful athletes love what they are doing. They train with love for the sport and the opportunity to win instead of the fear of not winning.
Release perfectionism. Perfectionism stalls project completion and it is often the root of procrastination problems. Perfectionism keeps you from releasing your new product. It keeps you from pursuing what you really want. I have helped many new coaches begin and grow their practices, and one of the biggest stumbling blocks is that they feel they must be perfect people and have their lives completely figured out before they can help anyone. If coaches had to be perfect people with no problems, there would be no one coaching people. Also, if you seem too perfect, it has that ring of “too good to be true”. People want real. People want vulnerability. People crave authenticity. Let go of perfectionism by letting yourself be perfectly imperfect.
“The pursuit of perfection impacts the very way we think and behave: the way we live, the way we lead, the way we build, and the way we measure success. Paradoxically, it is only when we embrace our imperfect conditions that we have a greater chance of success” Faisal Hoque from How to Master the Extremely Difficult Art of Letting on Fast Company.
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.”
– Lao Tzu
Channel your energy in the right place. Let your energy go into actions and thoughts that make a meaningful difference. Avoid spinning futile thoughts around in your head. For example, avoid the temptation to dwell on things that make you mad or things that are irritating. Pause throughout the day, and ask, “Is this making a difference?” “Am I thinking about what I really want? Am I doing what I really want to be doing?” Put your focus where it’s most productive. Create a laser-like focus on solutions and inspired action steps. Release focus on areas where you have no control. Practice possibility thinking.
Put your focus where it’s most productive. Create a laser-like focus on solutions and inspired action steps.Click to tweet
Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energy moving forward together towards an answer.”
– Denis Waitley
Embrace change. Change is inevitable. Yet, most people have some fear of change. When life changes, that uncomfortable feeling you have comes from the mere fact that there is now some change. Have you met people who resist every change? They resist the change even if it is for something obviously greater. Even a small change can be frustrating. For example, you get a new phone or computer and you now are setting everything up. You are irritated because it’s unfamiliar, but you are excited because it’s new. Let go of resisting change by reassuring yourself that you have adapted to change in the past. Make a list of every great aspect of the change. Then make a list of worries that you have about the change. Find solutions for each worry. For example, if you feel like you won’t have enough help to make a change, figure out where you could find help.
Break the chains of the past. Stop telling stories about how unfair things were for you. Everyone experiences injustice and something unfair in their lives. When you keep reliving these stories, you stay trapped in the past. The story you have been telling is also colored by your perspective at the time. Someone else, who experienced the same thing might have a completely different story. Here is a fun exercise. Try rewriting the past by telling a different story, even if you think it’s pure fiction. It will be fun to try on a new story. Then, you will realize that it’s all story filtered through your perspective. For example, I send short texts to my kids. I sent the text – dinner is at 7. One of my daughters said, “Mom is mad, she sent me the text, dinner is at 7.” My other daughter said, “I thought mom was happy because she invited me to dinner by texting, “dinner is at 7”. These are two very different perspectives on the same data. It’s possible to shift your story and when you do, you change your life.
“Your past does not equal your future.”
– Anthony Robbins
When you practice these success habits, you set yourself up for progress. By letting go of attachment, letting go of what isn’t working, letting go of feeling like you control the entire Universe, letting go of the past, and letting go of desperately needing anything; you pave the way for a more relaxed and blissful path to your freedom, happiness, and success.
If you like this, you will love this article on How to Up-Level Your Mindset Challenge
Coach and Trainer, Dr. Sheri Kaye Hoff, Ph.D.Business and Life Strategist known for inspiring massive action and a catalyst for personal and business growth, joy, and profits in a way that is fun, relaxing, and fulfilling, Sheri Kaye Hoff inspires people to the do work they love and make money.She is a near-death survivor and thriver. Learn More