Day 3 of the 5 Days of Joy and Bliss

Experiencing love is the pinnacle of humanity. Everyone benefits from love and compassion. Lack of love can even cause health and emotional problems. Throughout my coaching career, a common thread I have heard expressed is a feeling of there not being enough love or nurturing throughout a person’s life. Or often there were mixed signals about love. Maybe it felt like love was conditional and could easily be withdrawn. Or maybe there was a smothering feeling of love that felt clingy and demanding.

However, beautiful and uplifting unconditional love transforms life. People expand and seem to glow when they feel deeply loved. What is missed sometimes is that love begins with practicing self-love. Loving and accepting yourself is the key to being able to deeply love others. In turn, being a deeply loving person has the potential to create loving responses from other people. I often say if you want more love, love more. Of course, I am not talking about unhealthy co-dependency.

Be more loving. For almost every problem, love is the answer. Try it. For any problem you perceive you have, ask yourself, “How can I bring in more love to this situation?” How does this work? For example, let’s say you have a disagreement with your teenager, and the discussion is getting heated. You feel angry or maybe just irritated. You can’t believe you raised someone so disagreeable (okay, I am exaggerating a bit). In the moment, mentally ask yourself, “How can I bring in more love?” Just that question, softens your heart. You instantly think about your teenager as a small child and smile remembering his or her cuteness. You reflect on the big picture. This argument is a teeny tiny part of it. Your anger starts to melt and your teenager feels it, too. You are able to have a calm discussion and maybe even have a few laughs. Your love for your child starts radiating love back to you, too.

Here is another example. You make a mistake. Perhaps you miss a deadline, overdraft your checking account, don’t stick to your nutrition or exercise plan, or (fill in the blank). Immediately, you start beating yourself up. Maybe you ask, “How can I be so stupid?”  Pause, and ask, How can I bring in more love? This question starts to release your tension. You take some deep breaths. Your thoughts become more focused and clear.  You see this as a minor bump in the road. You can see potential solutions.

My daughter is getting married and of course there has been some stress and tension during the year of planning and events. A wise friend, Veronika, who also happens to specialize in weddings advised, “Stay focused on the love.” My daughter keeps coming back to this. All you need is love (The Beatles).

Practice kindness.  What if you shifted your focus from stress to practicing kindness throughout the day? Look for ways to be kind. Offer help.

Share and speak kind words. Sharing a heartfelt “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” to over-worked retail or service industry employees is thoughtful and kind. When you attend holiday parties, ask thoughtful questions and listen.

Speak kind words to yourself, too. Most self-talk is negative.  When you shift to positive words, you notice a difference.

Give generously. A generous spirit is more important than what you are actually giving. Sometimes people feel they don’t have anything to give. One year, when I was in my twenties, I was feeling financially strapped and frustrated and depressed about it. Intuitively, I knew that if I could think of something I could give, I would feel instantly better. At that moment, I heard on the radio that the women’s shelter needed blankets. I thought, “I have lots and lots of blankets.” I filled my car with blankets, drove over, and dropped them off. I felt amazing. I had an instant shift. I felt loving and connected instead of my previous feeling of “lack”.

• Tip your servers generously.
• Pay it forward in the Starbucks drive-through line by buying coffee for the person behind you.
• Leave your change in the Salvation Army buckets.
• Give change to charitable causes at your grocery store.
• Give to your favorite charities and choose to add a new one this year.
• Maybe you can babysit for a family so they can get errands done.
• Look for more ways to give.

Honor your own needs.  Create downtime where you can do the things that keep you grounded and centered. 

• Take a nap with a soft blanket and eye mask.
• Listen to music or ocean waves.
• Light candles and/or use essential oils in a diffuser. I find that lavender is relaxing. Lime or orange is uplifting and cheery. Peppermint gives a high energy feeling.
• Write in a beautiful journal.
• Sit in a church during the week when nothing is going on and quietly reflect.
• Use EFT. ( Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping) Learn how to use modified tapping with this short video (below)
• Do something that gets you closer to a bucket list item.
• Delete a few things from your to-do list.
• Delegate a few things from your to-do list.
• Stretch. Watch a yoga video or take a live class.
• Exercise. I keep a pair of dumbells close by when I am working and do some curls and shoulder presses throughout the day.
• Meditate. Try guided meditations or just close your eyes and practice silence.
• Pray.  A devotion book helps (ad). Jesus Calling by Sarah Young is wonderful.
• Read a good book. (ad) I loved Mike Dooley’s book on manifesting abundance, Playing the Matrix

Practice compassion. 

“Why develop compassion in your life? Well, there are scientific studies that suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion — people who practice it produce 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the stress hormone. Zen Habits

Focus on seeing things from others” perspectives. See what you have in common. Notice what people are experiencing. Care about them and what happens to them.

I am wishing you more peace, love, and joy this season.

The 5 Days of Joy and Bliss Event

Every year during the holiday season, I host an event on my blog. This year it is Five Days of Joy and Bliss. Each day, for five days, we will feature tools and tips to help you experience more joy and bliss this holiday season and into 2022.  Please comment on the blog posts, and/or share them on social media. I will be giving away a $50 Amazon gift card through a drawing from all of the comments and shares at the end of the event.

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Sheri Kaye Hoff, is a Transformational Business Coach known for inspiring, intuition, vision, and massive action, and being a catalyst for personal and business growth, joy, and profits in a way that is fun, relaxing, and fulfilling. She uses both spiritual and practical techniques to obliterate blocks and create transformational change. Sheri is a business, leadership, happiness, and inner game expert. She has overcome nearly dying and has made it her life mission to share the keys to happiness and success. Learn More About Sheri

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