Day 9 of the 12 Days of Christmas

5 Ways to Feel More Love and Compassion

Experiencing love is the pinnacle of humanity. Everyone benefits from love and compassion. Lack of love can even cause health and emotional problems. Throughout my coaching career, a common thread I have heard expressed is a feeling of there not being enough love or nurturing throughout a person’s life. Or often there were mixed signals about love. Maybe it felt like love was conditional and could easily be withdrawn. Or maybe there was a smothering feeling of love that felt clingy and demanding.

However, beautiful and uplifting unconditional love transforms life. People expand and seem to glow when they feel deeply loved. What is missed sometimes is that love begins with practicing self-love. Loving and accepting yourself is the key to being able to deeply love others. In turn, being a deeply loving person has the potential to create loving responses from other people. I often say if you want more love, love more. Of course, I am not talking about unhealthy co-dependency.

Be more loving. For almost every problem, love is the answer. Try it. For any problem you perceive you have, ask yourself, “How can I bring in more love to this situations?” How does this work? For example, let’s say you have a disagreement with your teenager, and the discussion is getting heated. You feel angry or maybe just irritated. You can’t believe you raised someone so disagreeable (okay, I am exaggerating a bit). In the moment, you mentally ask yourself, “How can I bring in more love?” Just that question, softens your heart. You instantly think about your teenager as a small child and smile remembering his or her cuteness. You reflect on the big picture. This argument is a teeny tiny part of it. Your anger starts to melt and your teenager feels it, too. You are able to have a calm discussion and maybe even have a few laughs. Your love for your child starts radiating love back to you, too.

Here is another example. You make a mistake. Perhaps you miss a deadline, overdraft your checking account, don’t stick to your nutrition or exercise plan, or (fill in the blank). Immediately, you start beating yourself up. Maybe you ask, “How can I be so stupid?”  Pause, and ask, How can I bring in more love? This question starts to release your tension. You take some deep breaths. Your thoughts become more focused and clear.  You see this as a minor bump in the road. You can see potential solutions. Do what you can, then accept what happened and move on.

Practice kindness. Are you noticing all of the rude people? How about the people who honk constantly, drive like they are the only ones on the road, cut in line, run over your foot with a shopping cart, bump into you, or say inconsiderate things, etc? This time of year often brings out impatience. What if you shifted your focus from noticing rude people to practicing kindness? In between the thought and action is that moment of choice. You always have the option to choose a response instead of reacting.

Look for ways to be kind. Offer to help.

Say kind words. Sharing a heartfelt “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” to over-worked retail or service industry employees is thoughtful and kind. When you attend holiday parties, asking,  What are your holiday plans? is a great conversation starter and shows you are interested. Dale Carnegie taught that the way to be interesting is to be interested in others.

Also, speak kind words to yourself. Speak loving and kind words throughout the day. Most self-talk is negative.  When you shift to positive words, you notice a difference.

Give generously. A generous spirit is more important than what you are actually giving. Sometimes people feel they don’t have anything to give. One year, when I was in my twenties, I was feeling financially strapped and frustrated and depressed about it. Intuitively, I knew that if I could think of something I could give, I would feel instantly better. In that moment, I heard on the radio that the women’s shelter needed blankets. I thought, “I have lots and lots of blankets.” I filled my car with blankets, drove over and dropped them off. I felt amazing. I had an instant shift. I felt loving and connected instead of my previous feeling of “lack”.

• Tip your servers generously.
• Pay it forward in the Starbucks drive-through line by buying coffee for the person behind you.
• Leave your change in the Salvation Army buckets.
• Give change to charitable causes at your grocery store.
• Give to your favorite charities and choose to add a new one this year.
• One year, it snowed and one of our neighbors used his snow blower to clear snow for the whole block’s driveways.
• Look for more ways to give.

Honor your own needs.  Create down-time where you can do the things that keep you grounded and centered. 

• Take a nap. A nap with a weighted blanket stress relieving.
• Listen to music.
• Light candles and/or use essential oils in a diffuser. Lavendar is relaxing.
• Write in a journal. Choose a beautiful journal
• Use EFT. (Tapping)
• Do something you really want to do.
• Delete a few things from your to-do list.
• Delegate a few things from your to-do list.
• Stretch. Find some favorite stretching routines on youtube.
• Exercise. I lift weights in between writing sessions.
• Meditate. Find some guided meditations that you like on Amazon Music or just close your eyes and practice silence.
• Pray.
• Read a good book. I loved Mike Dooley’s new book. Playing the Matrix

Practice compassion. 

“Why develop compassion in your life? Well, there are scientific studies that suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion — people who practice it produce 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the stress hormone. Zen Habits

Focus on seeing things from others” perspectives. See what you have in common. Notice what people are experiencing. Care about them and what happens to them.

 

If you enjoyed this, you will really appreciate this article on 5 Success Habits to Help You Master the Art of Letting Go

Today’s special offer is a freebie enjoy the 30 Day Happiness Challenge

What is the 12 Days of Christmas Event?

Happy 12 days of Christmas! It’s that time of year on my blog where I post every day for 12 days with inspiration, motivation, blessings, and strategies for you as you live each day of your amazing life and as you create your own unique path to success.  Each day, I will also have a special offer, a freebie, or a quick audio.

Please join my free facebook group and comment on each day’s blog.

You can comment on the facebook group and/or the blog. Every time you comment or share the day’s blog on social media your name will go into a drawing for a $75 Amazon gift card (up to ten entries per person per day). The drawing will be held after the 12-day event is over on Dec 23. In order to keep track of social media shares, please post in the facebook group where and how many comments/shares you have each day.

Sheri Kaye Hoff

Coach, Trainer, and Author, Sheri Kaye Hoff, is a Business Coach known for inspiring massive action and a catalyst for personal and business growth, joy, and profits in a way that is fun, relaxing, and fulfilling, Sheri inspires people to do the work they love and make more money. Sheri helps business owners and professionals to relax into success. She uses both spiritual and practical techniques to obliterate blocks and create dramatic change. She is a business, leadership, happiness, and inner game expert. She has overcome nearly dying, and the loss of her brother at an early age. She has made it her life mission to discover the keys to happiness and success and then share them with her clients and community. Learn More About Sheri