Day 10 of the 12 Days of Joy
How to Add More Bliss to Your Life
5 Ways to Feel More Love, Peace, Joy, and Compassion
Experiencing love is the pinnacle of humanity. Everyone benefits from love and compassion. When your heart is full of love, there isn’t room for fear.
Lack of love can even cause health and emotional problems. Throughout my coaching career, a common thread I have heard expressed is a feeling of not enough love or nurturing throughout a person’s life. Or often there were mixed signals about love. Maybe it felt like love was conditional and could easily be withdrawn. Or maybe there was a smothering feeling of love that felt clingy and demanding. Maybe you have been looking for the wrong type of love.
However, beautiful and uplifting unconditional love transforms life. People expand and seem to glow when they feel deeply loved. What is missed sometimes is that love begins with practicing self-love. Loving and accepting yourself is the key to being able to deeply love others. In turn, being a deeply loving person has the potential to create loving responses from other people. I often say if you want more love, love more. Of course, I am not talking about unhealthy co-dependency.
Be more loving.
For almost every problem, love is the answer. Try it. For any problem you perceive you have, ask yourself, “How can I bring in more love to this situation?” How does this work? For example, let’s say you have a disagreement with your teenager, and the discussion is getting heated. You feel angry or maybe just irritated. You can’t believe you raised someone so disagreeable (okay, I am exaggerating a bit).
In the moment, you mentally ask yourself, “How can I bring in more love?” Just that question, softens your heart. You instantly think about your teenager as a small child and smile remembering his or her cuteness. You reflect on the big picture. This argument is a teeny tiny part of it. Your anger starts to melt and your teenager feels it, too. You are able to have a calm discussion and maybe even have a few laughs. Your love for your child starts radiating love back to you, too.
“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.”— Eleanor RooseveltClick to tweet
Here is another example. You make a mistake. Perhaps you miss a deadline, overdraft your checking account, don’t stick to your nutrition or exercise plan, or (fill in the blank). Immediately, you start beating yourself up. Maybe you ask, “How can I be so stupid?” Pause, and ask, How can I bring in more love? This question starts to release your tension. You take some deep breaths. Your thoughts become more focused and clear. You see this as a minor bump in the road. You can see potential solutions.
Being more loving to yourself and others is a key to living a blissful life and helps you live life to the fullest.
Are you noticing all of the rude people? How about the people who honk constantly, drive like they are the only ones on the road, cut in line, run over your foot with a shopping cart, bump into you, or say inconsiderate things, etc? This time of year often brings out impatience. What if you shifted your focus from noticing rude people to practicing kindness? In between the thought and action is that moment of choice. You always have the option to choose a response instead of reacting.
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”— Maya AngelouClick to tweet
Look for ways to be kind. Offer help.
Share and speak kind words. Sharing a heartfelt “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” to over-worked retail or service industry employees is thoughtful and kind. When you attend holiday parties, asking, What are your holiday plans? is a great conversation starter and shows you are interested. Dale Carnegie taught that the way to be interesting is to be interested in others.
Also, speak kind words to yourself. Speak loving and kind words throughout the day. Most self-talk is negative. When you shift to positive words, you notice a difference. Try these affirmations
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”— Marcus AureliusClick to tweet
A generous spirit is more important than what you are actually giving. Sometimes people feel they don’t have anything to give. One year, when I was in my twenties, I was feeling financially strapped and frustrated and depressed about it. Intuitively, I knew that if I could think of something I could give, I would feel instantly better. At that moment, I heard on the radio that the women’s shelter needed blankets. I thought, “I have lots and lots of blankets.” I filled my car with blankets, drove over and dropped them off. I felt amazing. I had an instant shift. I felt loving and connected instead of my previous feeling of “lack”.
- Tip your servers generously.
- Pay it forward in the Starbucks drive-through line by buying coffee for the person behind you.
- Leave your change in the Salvation Army buckets.
- Give change to charitable causes at your grocery store.
- Give to your favorite charities and choose to add a new one this year.
- Double last year’s charitable giving
- Maybe you can babysit for a family so they can get errands done?
- Does your neighbor need some help?
- Look for more ways to give.
Honor your own needs.
Create downtime where you can do the things that keep you grounded and centered.
- Take a nap. A nap with a weighted blanket is stress-relieving.
- Listen to music.
- Light candles and/or use essential oils in a diffuser. Lavender is relaxing.
- Write in a beautiful journal.
- Use EFT. Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping) Enjoy this tapping session from my living joyfully podcast.
- Do something you really want to do.
- Delete a few things from your to-do list.
- Delegate a few things from your to-do list.
- Exercise. I lift weights in between writing sessions.
- Get outside. A brisk walk in the snow or on the beach will add more bliss, joy, and happiness immediately.
- Meditate. There are great guided meditations that you may like on Amazon Music or just close your eyes and practice silence.
- Pray. A devotion book helps (ad). Jesus Calling by Sarah Young is wonderful.
- Read a good book. (ad) I loved Mike Dooley’s book on manifesting abundance, Playing the Matrix
- Or check out these new books on creating the life you want
“Why develop compassion in your life? Well, there are scientific studies that suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion — people who practice it produce 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the stress hormone. Zen Habits
Focus on seeing things from others” perspectives. See what you have in common. Notice what people are experiencing. Care about them and what happens to them.
I am wishing you more peace, love, and joy this season.
If you enjoyed this, you will really appreciate this article on 5 Success Habits to Help You Master the Art of Letting Go
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Sheri Kaye Hoff
Coach, Trainer, and Author, Sheri Kaye Hoff, is a Business Coach known for inspiring massive action and a catalyst for personal and business growth, joy, and profits in a way that is fun, relaxing, and fulfilling, Sheri inspires people to do the work they love and make more money. Sheri helps business owners and professionals to relax into success. She uses both spiritual and practical techniques to obliterate blocks and create dramatic change. She is a business, leadership, happiness, and inner game expert. She has overcome nearly dying, and the loss of her brother at an early age. She has made it her life mission to discover the keys to happiness and success and then share them with her clients and community. Learn More About Sheri